Film Review – Avatar: The Way of Water

Starring Sam Worthington, Zoe Saldana, Sigourney Weaver

Directed by James Cameron

By Roger Crow

Remember Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within? No? Fair enough. That 2001 sci-fi epic was a dazzling mix of CG thespians, action scenes, impressive hardware and a plot about nature protecting itself from bad guys. Or something. Technically it was brilliant for the era, and its heart was in the right place, but it was missing that certain something. 

Eight years later Avatar arrived, and James Cameron’s tale of colonialism on the planet Pandora took everyone’s breath away with a dazzling mix of CG thespians, action scenes, impressive hardware and, well, you get the picture.

Now I’ve been a Cameron devotee since I passed myself off as 18 in 1985 and saw The Terminator, one of the best films of the mid-1980s despite a modest budget.

And in the years that followed I saw every Cameron film on the big screen, where it was meant to be seen. Aliens, The Abyss, Terminator 2: Judgement Day and so on. Yes, they were great on TV, but the big screen was made for those Cameron epics. As his budgets increased so did his scope, and each time since T2 the story was the same: “James Cameron has made the most expensive film ever made, and it will need to bank a fortune to make its money back”. And each time it did. 

When Avatar was released in 2009, the critics were ready with their ‘Pocahontas in Space’ gags, and oh how clever they felt, while the cash tills kept ringing. Like Mrs Brown’s Boys, the critics just didn’t understand why people wanted to be transported to a world of alleged nonsense. And then analysts assessed ‘The Avatar Effect’, how all that blue light and phosphorescence eased those winter blues, and everyone who suffered from SAD, like me, suddenly felt better. 

Like Stanley Kubrick before him, I knew the gap between Cameron films was following a pattern. A dozen years between Titanic and Avatar suggested a similar gap between Avatar and whatever came next, so I joked on social media that he’d better hurry up or I’d be 53 by the time he made another movie. (I’m now 54).

Thankfully inbetween films he did oversee Pandora, one of the most gobsmacking theme park attractions you’ll ever see. An utterly immersive experience in Orlando which is the next best thing to being on said planet. 

All of which epic preamble brings us to Avatar: The Way of Water, the long-awaited sequel, has been in development for so long, teenage kids weren’t born when the original first hit cinemas, and obviously they are the target audience, so, like Jaws 2, the films feels populated by kids who say “Bro!” unironically, and often. 

The first chunk feels like a recap of film one as Jake Sully’s (Sam Worthington) avatar warrior (a huge blue alien life form grown in a tank) enjoys life with his wife (Zoe Saldana) and family. 

Sigourney Weaver is back, this time as a teenage Na’avi who is still in touch with her late mother via organic USB ports that link to a Pandora ‘cloud’, which won’t cost a few quid per month in storage fees.

Also back is Stephen Lang, who bought the space farm in film one as the bad guy super military man. I can only imagine the confusion surrounding the production as Weaver and Lang came to terms with their new roles. 

Anyway, over the course of more than three hours, kids are naturally kidnapped by bad guys. Their folks stage rescue attempts, and tech geeks marvel at all that hardware, while endangered species communicate with humanoid heroes in Papyrus* subtitles. 

*It’s a font, which is thankfully not Zapf Chancery (the most annoying of all fonts, usually used in bad restaurants on uninspired menus). 

Yes, there are echoes of Finding Nemo, How To Train Your Dragon, and assorted other movies, most notably Cameron’s back catalogue. But here’s the thing. For every minute of screen time I was never bored. And in that third act, I was reminded of something I hadn’t felt since 2009: why Cameron is one of the greatest action directors (sometimes) making movies. Few others manage to capture that sense of kinetic energy which leaves viewers breathless. And though a good hour of his new movie is alien humanoids being one with nature, and bonding with the energy force emanating from all things, once we graduate from that peaceful retreat with a sense of spiritual fulfilment, James does what he does best: kick-ass action scenes against stunning backdrops.

There are better cat fights than EastEnders; more breathtaking scenes of near-drowning than Titanic, and bad guys getting a well deserved hiding, all in stunning, hi-def clarity. 

Given the fact many mainstream blockbusters are streaming within a few weeks of cinema release, I had considered waiting a while and watching it on TV. I’m so glad I didn’t as Avatar: The Way of Water deserves to be seen on the big screen, preferably surrounded by snacks in a reclining chair. (£20 well spent). 

Even the annoying teens who say “Bro!” a lot will win you over, and while at no point in the past 13 years have I been desperate to see another movie featuring Sam Worthington, he and the rest of the key thesps do a terrific job with their motion-capture performances. Yes, we’ve seen mo-cap before, but never underwater, and that’s where the images really shine. 

Though there are a few loose threads left open for the pending sequels (bits of which were shot back-to-back with this movie), you won’t emerge feeling short changed. 

I did wonder why ‘Unobtanium’ the most valuable commodity in the universe, has now been replaced with space whale amber gris (that stuff that used to be used for perfumes – on Earth), but obviously times have changed, and everyone laughed at the name Unobtanium, so just go with it. 

Avatar: The Way of Water is a massive, complex, at times touching escape from the real world, though echoes the all-too-real horror of our own. Don’t wait for streaming, download or disc versions. See it as it was meant to be seen, and even if you hate the characters who say “Bro!”, it’s a great way to ease those winter blues.

Direction 9

Cast 8

Script 8

Editing 9

Rewatchability 9

Film Review-The Old Way (2023)

Starring Nicolas Cage, Ryan Kiera Armstrong, Abraham Benrubi

Directed by Brett Donowho

Certificate 15

By Roger Crow

Remarkable as it seems, Nicolas Cage has never made a Western. He’s featured in just about every other genre, and skirted around the cowboy world, but the old fashioned gunslinger, homestead, six-shooter, revenge thriller? Apparently that’s all been on hold, until now.

And the good news is The Old Way is a solid, nuts and bolts revenge thriller.

The plot is simple: a seasoned gunslinger and his daughter must face the consequences of his past, when the son of a man he murdered years ago arrives to take his revenge.

Cage plays Colton Briggs, an outlaw turned family man who is forced back into his sharpshooting ways and standing his ground despite being outnumbered and outgunned.

The solid cast includes Clint Howard, Abraham Benrubi, Nick Searcy, Noah Le Gros, Kerry Knuppe, and rising star Ryan Kiera Armstrong (who shone in the remake of Stephen King thriller Firestarter).

Director Brett Donowho does a fine job of sustaining the attention, while Emmy and BAFTA-nominated cinematographer Sion Michel ensure the whole thing looks terrific.

Yes, there are echoes of Unforgiven, True Grit, and countless other genre classics, but this is still an engaging yarn which is the perfect length, clocking in around the 90-minute mark.

Cage could revert to his usual manic, crazy man mode, but manages to dial that down, while Ryan Kiera Armstrong is superb as his emotionless daughter who gives the Hollywood veteran a run for his money.

Cast 8

Script 7

Cinematography 8

Direction 8

Rewatchability 8

THE OLD WAY is released in UK & Irish cinemas and on Altitude.film and other digital platforms including Google, Apple, Sky, Amazon, Rakuten and Virgin from 13 January

Film review-Shattered (1991)

Starring Tom Berenger, Greta Scacchi, Bob Hoskins

Directed by Wolfgang Petersen

Certificate 15

By Roger Crow

When I first moved to Yorkshire in 1991, filling those empty weekends with movies was a weekly thing. And one of them was Shattered, a Hitchcockian thriller in the style of Vertigo, which saw a confused Tom Berenger mixed up in nefarious shenanigans after a car crash. 

He’s a San Francisco businessman stitched back together after that opening crash. Luckily he has alluring partner (Greta Scacchi) to fill in the blanks of his amnesia, but is she telling the truth, and does he care? Because as soon as his face has miraculously healed, they’re making out to the old classic Knights in White Satin while superimposed waves crash against a shore. Thanks to one of the cheesiest touches in a non-comedic detective thriller, I’ve never heard that Moody Blues song in the same way since.

Aptly for a movie about amnesia I had forgotten most of the rest of the film in the three decades since my last viewing. Such as the fact Bob Hoskins is an asthmatic “New Yoik” pet shop owner who’s also a detective. And yes, this was a few years before Ace Ventura cornered that market. 

Anyway, poor Tom, who is repeatedly plagued by a memories of smashing through a windscreen and a mist-shrouded ship, tries to get to the bottom of the mystery. Thrown into the mix is Corbin Bernsen as Berenger’s business associate, and Joanne Whalley-Kilmer as a seductive doe-eyed love interest who, like Greta, also gets the urge to disrobe when she’s in the presence of ‘Confused.Tom’. 

Wolfgang Petersen, who died earlier in 2022, delivers some truly bizarre touches, such as the moment our hero defenestrates a fax machine in a sudden moment of anger. Not that it seems to bother business bloke Bernsen, who treats it as perfectly normal. (Maybe if you worked for the coke-fuelled office in The Wolf of Wall Street).

Confused.Tom

The twist, when it comes, is gloriously nuts, glossing over a key factor that would be spoilerific to mention here. It’s no better or worse than the equally bonkers namesake thriller featuring John Malkovich which was released relatively recently.

Shattered – in which a Cheesy Greta love scene ruins a Moody Blues classic forever.

Dead Again and Basic Instinct covered similar ground in 1991 and 1992, but despite its faults, Shattered (‘91) is still a goofy curio which deserves at least one look. 

Cast 8

Direction 7

Editing 7

Score 7

Jack and the Beanstalk-Hull New Theatre, December 2022

By Roger Crow

There an explosion of fairy dust and manifesting on stage is Mother Nature. I didn’t have a chance to ask her why it was so flipping cold on one of the foggiest days of the year, but despite the elements, many of us have flocked to Hull New Theatre for their annual family festivities. 

Georgia Iudica Davies is a delight as Ms Nature, and like the stunning Princess Jill (Allana Taylor), it’s hard to take your eyes off them. Every member of the cast of Jack of the Beanstalk is wondrous as they dance, sing, and brighten up the darkest time of the year. 

One of the main stars of the show is Gareth Gates, who pokes fun at himself and his appearance on Pop Idol, which is now so long ago, only some grandparents in the audience probably remember watching it when GG faced off against Will Young.

Jack and the Beanstalk. Hull New Theatre. Runs until Dec 31, 2022.

Gareth keeps his clothes on, unlike a few years ago when the ripped entertainer turned Footloose: The Musical into what felt like a glorified hen night, despite great performances and music from the super-talented cast. Here he’s on much better form as the lovable hero who does all the right things, from winning over the audience, to making them laugh and belting out a surprisingly touching version of Unchained Melody.

Channelling Les Dawson and Crackerjack legend Peter Glaze is Jack Land Noble as Dame Trot, who does a fine job as one of theatrelands’s best loved staples. Dames, there’s nothing like them, and this one is a splendid comic force in a variety of interesting attire. 

Chelsea Hall has a ball as the rhyming baddie Mrs Blunderbore, and oh it’s such a joy booing her in all the right places. 

A lead I’ve not mentioned is one of British showbusiness’s greatest assets. Just his expressions in adverts for tea and supermarkets are enough to make the commercials worth sitting through every single time. 

Thanks to Neil Hurst, New Year’s Eve 2021 was one of the most enjoyable experiences I’ve had in a theatre, so it was a given that when I heard he’d be back on stage for beanstalk-based shenanigans, I didn’t need much of an excuse to attend. 

And as fabulous as all the aforementioned folks were, and the terrific tunesmiths, lovely lighting crew, and splendid set designers, Neil’s like a Vulcan bomber, dropping comedy explosives with pinpoint accuracy. And every gag lands on target, which is no mean feat. Zingers, old gags, topical laughs, jaw-droppers. 

There’s stuff for the kids and those of us who love more near-the-knuckle comedy. And even up in the circle, it’s a terrific experience watching all those expressions from a distance. 

The whole thing is perfectly paced; there’s never a feeling of things outstaying their welcome, and the 12 Days of Christmas routine is a joy.

I laughed long, I laughed hard, and I will be there again to marvel at more Hurst hysteria either before the end of this run, or when he hopefully returns to tickle our funny bones again.

Director David Fleeshman and writer Alan McHugh must have had a great time putting the whole thing together. I certainly had a great time watching it, and judging by the tsunamis of cheers and applause, I’m guessing the rest of the audience had a pretty good time too. 

You have until the last day of 2022 to see the show. After which it’s a case of Jack and the Has-been Stalk. Shame that gag never made it into the show, but those that did are an absolute joy.